Oliver, my beloved 14+ year-old mini-poodle, is gone.
When I came home at lunchtime Monday to make sure he'd eaten his morning meal and take him for a walk, he hadn't eaten. In fact, he had brought up both his last meal, and some thick white liquid. Since he'd been doing so about every week to 10 days, I cleaned up, and tried to get him to go on a short walk. He wouldn't go past our front door -- planting his paws and refusing to be moved. It was nearly 90 degrees out -- so I didn't press the matter. I unhooked the leash from his collar, headed him back into the living room, and told him I'd be back after work. He stood near the door, with what I hoped was his usual little smile, and watched me leave.
When I returned, Ollie didn't come to the door -- and I realized I didn't see him anywhere. The food in his bowl hadn't been touched. I called him repeatedly, with no response. After a brief eternity, I found Ollie camped under an end-table in the far corner of the living room -- he didn't respond to my call or my touch, and was barely breathing. Looking around, I saw that he had vomited several more times since I'd left for the office. I lifted him up and raced to the car -- then to the emergency animal hospital 10 miles away. The staff rushed him into treatment; even while I was still completing the paperwork, he went into cardiac arrest. They were able to revive him, but after 3 or more hours of treatment, they called to say that he was going downhill, and had been bringing up blood. My husband and I made it back to the hospital as quickly as we could -- but there was nothing more that could be done. Oliver was euthanized at about 11 PM. Before the vet put him under, I begged him to forgive me -- and to wait for me beyond the rainbow bridge.
I am distraught -- and guilt-ridden. If only I'd taken him to the vet at 2:15, when he first threw up -- he was conscious and breathing well. Perhaps the vets could have saved him. As it is, they can't find the cause -- my baby has been taken from me, and I don't even know why.
It's more than I can bear. He was counting on me -- and I let him down....