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Fight K9 cancer

dog cancer support

Members: 40
Latest Activity: Mar 23, 2014

After losing our sweet Mouta (pictured here) on August 11, 2008 to cancer, my husband and I are still missing her terribly. She was diagnosed in February 2008 with a sarcoma in her spine. She was a trooper through the pre-diagnosis stage, when we initially thought she had a herniated disc in her spine, to the end. When aggressive steroid treatment only brought her from a stage 4 (almost no hind leg movement to a low stage 2...walking with assistance) we knew it was time for further testing. We drove 90 minutes away for her to have more test...a myelogram, which in turn led to surgery and the diagnosis of cancer. It was no doubt that we would pursue further treatment for her because out of the 4 pup-a-lups (my husband's term) she was our special baby...the calm in the eye of the storm, I always said. With the 4 dogs and cat, Mouta was always laid back and just really loved life. She was the ONLY one who could be off leash in the front yard and not run off 100% of the time! She LOVED being with us too much to venture off.

I did tons of research, talked to anyone who would listen, read everything I could find about cancer in dogs. And there's really not a lot of data out there. One of the deal makers for me when the subject of radiation treatments was discussed was that every question I asked about the success, the risk, the prognosis for Mouta was answered pretty much the same.."We don't know. There's not much data out there because most people opt for euthansia with the cancer diagnosis due to the cost of treatment." I felt that if by treating Mouta there was the slightest chance that we could have her in our lives a little longer and get her healthy again, it would be worth it. We had just bought a new house...I wanted new furniture, but you know, 'things' can wait...life can't. I still don't have the furniture, but we did have Mouta for 6 more months. We celebrated her 10th birthday with a cookout and I even baked a birthday cake for the dogs (you know there are lots of recipes online for homemade dog treats..even cakes!) When she finished her radiation treatments she was acting like a puppy again, not like the 10 year old that she was by then.

So, I started this group as a memorial to our Sharmouta. Anyone who has been through this, or who is facing this is welcome!

Discussion Forum

Murphy's mast cell tumor 9 Replies

Started by Lynne Gunn. Last reply by Andrew Hicks Feb 5, 2012.

Taz' mast cell cancer 25 Replies

Started by Cathy Turnipseed. Last reply by Jill Stout May 1, 2011.

Holistic Veterinarians 2 Replies

Started by Lori Lotts. Last reply by Lori Lotts Sep 28, 2010.

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Comment by Ellen Slater on June 14, 2011 at 10:03pm

It's been a week and it still feels so unreal. I miss my girl so much! The tears come and go, I still forget sometimes and expect to see or hear her. And the pain floods so hugely when I realize I never will again, not on this earth. The other dogs are still having a hard time. No one understands, it feels like I'm expected to just be done being sad. I think it'll be a long time before that happens since it hasn't even fully sunk in yet that she is gone.

I want to find a way to honor her spirit, to memorialize her, maybe something ceremonial, I don't know. Did any of you do anything like that? If it's not too hard, could you share it?

I know I should go to the Pet Loss board, but you guys are like family to me, you guys have been there all along, and it feels harder to lean on people who don't know us like you do. Does that sound weird? Also I think I'm just not ready yet to post there.

Hope you all are doing well, I'm keeping Gilbert, Taz, Dakota, and all the rest of our fur babies in my prayers, and all of you, my friends, in my heart.

~Hugs~ Ellen

Comment by barbaraharris on June 10, 2011 at 4:24pm

Dear Ellen,

    I have been reading your posts and the others for the last couple of days and have not been able until now to get  online to express how sorry I am for your loss of Sadie. Your unconditional love of her and she of you was remarkable.  I felt your energy as you described  your day to day trials  and tribulations. We are all ONE on this forum.  Yes, we have been there for you, but you for us, also.  You have shown us that we all must follow our heart and pets lead and that will be the answer to how far we should go.  You did the right thing! 

  As all have said, it is natural for you to have all these feelings.  Grieving has stages, and you are going thru them.  Elisabeth Kubler Ross identified them.  Be gentle with yourself.  Macy and I are sending you much love and peace. Sadie if free now.  Celebrate her free spirit and soul!

Sincerely, Barb

Comment by Lynn Pennington on June 10, 2011 at 11:18am

Ellen,

I echo what others here have said.  It hurts like hell!  It's not fair!  Your heart is shattered into a million pieces right now and your eyes cry all the time.  And we all second guess what we did or didn't do.  I think we all cry for Sadie and for our own that we have lost.  As Jill said we re-live those times with our own babies and our hearts rip open again.  You knew Sadie better than anyone on earth, you knew what she needed and did everything for her...so much more than a lot of folks would have done.  Do NOT beat yourself up.  Just let yourself cry for your loss!

You need this time to grieve.  I felt I grieved more for my dogs (Bandit & Mouta) than I did for my Dad and my brother.  Probably because they were my "KIDS" and the unconditional love they gave was so damned special.  Maybe I didn't...but it sure felt that way because people "understand" when you grieve for a person...not so much when you grieve for a "dog".   You honor Sadie by grieving for her!  It just shows how much you loved her and how much she meant to you.  We understand and it's OK 

I don't know if you've checked out the Pet Loss Support Group here on I Remember Love, but the guy who started it wrote an excellent piece (he is no longer a member I don't think).  Read it...it will do you good.

Praying that God will bring you comfort and peace.

(((HUGS)))

Comment by Jill Stout on June 10, 2011 at 4:22am

Ellen, I am so sorry. We all know how hard it is. Mr. Bailey has been gone over a year and I still wonder if what I did was right, and could I have done things any different. There are days when I am so weepy over that dog, still, even though the other fur-kids are here. I am sure I will feel the same when it is their turn to join Mr. Bailey and all the others that have gone before him.

I think you did an amazing job with Sadie. There isn't a person on this site that would disagree with that.

You need to grieve whatever way is best for you. I still cry. Every time someone new joins this group, I cry--because it means we all re-live those moments with our fur babies. We all know the uncertainty, the second guessing and the fear.

I cry because this disease seems to be taking over. We hear so much about the successes in the fight against cancer in people and yet, the majority of our vets are still in the dark about canine cancer.

I feed my dogs a mixture of veggies and vitamins and herbs because I am so worried that my other kids will be affected by this disease. The clerk in the grocery store thinks I am nuts because I buy Kale and Parsley and all the other dark green veggies that have been proven cancer fighters along with Turkey and Chicken and vitamin C, E, and Tumeric. I cringe every time I see someone buying cheap dog food and I want to tell them to stop buying crap for their dogs.

The people that I work with must think I am nuts because I am always on my "soap box" about feeding their dogs better (all while I eat a McDonalds hamburger!).

So, Ellen, don't worry about how you feel---I would worry if you didn't feel that way. You just go ahead and cry when you want to. Carry her tags on your key chain--hang them in your car. Every ounce of grief honors her memory and if other people don't like it---then too bad.

We are ll here for you.

Comment by Kelly Meyer on June 10, 2011 at 2:41am
Oh Ellen, I'm crying right along with you--for Sadie, as well as for Phoebe! Your emotions are so appropriate, as I had the same ones after we had to let Phoebe go--was it to early, did we rob her of time with us? Was it too late, was she suffering a d we didn't know it? We have to just have faith and find comfort in the fact that nobody knew our dogs as much as we knew our dogs! You would have KNOWN if Sadie were in pain. I also think it's a testament to how peaceful Sadie left--sleeping with your arm around her--she was at peace, and she wouldn't have been if she were in pain! I think that's how we all want to leave this world--peacefully sleeping in the arms of someone who loves us!

Allow yourself to grieve--cry it all out! Try and catch up on your sleep, and hopefully little by little your heart will start to heal, and you will find yourself smiling at the memories of Sadie and not crying as much. It will take time, but it will happen.

Keep in touch with us Ellen, we're all here for you!

((((HUGS))))
Kelly
Comment by Andrew Hicks on June 10, 2011 at 1:14am
Oh Ellen ... Words will not do enough to comfort you.  But, for what little good they might do, you followed your gut because that's Sadie was telling you what she needed from you.  It's that bond that you have with her that was telling you what she needed.  I know this is easier to say than do but don't beat yourself up for things that you cannot change.  You did everything possible for her.  She might not be there in person but her spirit will remain with you forever.  She's just waiting on the other side for you now.  She's not in any pain, she has friends, she has other animal lovers who are loving her.  She's in a good place Ellen.  Your emotions are natural.  Allow yourself this time to grieve and honor her.  I'm not going to tell you that everything will be OK ... because right now ... I know that everything is NOT OK.  It's not fair that our babies get sick.  It's not fair that they are taken from us before their time.  It's not fair that we suffer through this with them.  Love her, keep her in your thoughts and be there for your other babies.  We're here for you.  Take care Ellen.  You're in our thoughts.
Comment by Ellen Slater on June 9, 2011 at 9:25pm

Tonight has been really hard, i can't stop crying. I want my baby back, i want one more kiss, one more cuddle, to stroke her velvety soft ears just one more time.  I know I did my best for her, I know she wasn't in pain, but suddenly I find myself questioning EVERYTHING. Did I really do the right thing, was she suffering and i was too selfish to realize it?  I think that following my gut was the right thing to do, but the doubt are suddenly creeping in. I keep trying to remind myself what her orthopedist said when she was 2 and went for hip replacement, that he'd never seen a bond like ours, that we knew each other on an intuitive level.

I keep having to remind myself that i don't have to count the hours to make sure she gets her meds on time, or check to  make sure she doesn't need her bladder expressed, I find myself almost going to lay with her, then realizing she's not there.  I feel like my heart is in a million pieces.

Comment by Andrew Hicks on June 9, 2011 at 2:36pm
Hi Ellen,  Just wanted to check in and let you know that you've been in our thoughts today.  I strongly believe that our animals have this sense which we just can't comprehend.  In the same way as they will sense a storm before we know it's there, they have this connection to something almost spiritual - maybe it is actually spiritual...  Sadie will stay with you forever - in your heart, in your thoughts, in your mind ... and in your being.  Love your babies because they too are grieving.  Give them reassurance and I'm sure you'll find your own healing by doing this too.  We're here for you.  Grieve, scream, cry ... it's OK.  You're in our thoughts!
Comment by Angela on June 9, 2011 at 2:23pm

Dear Ellen,

I always think I hear Ti'ana, once or twice I felt her jump on the bed beside me. It comforts me, and I believe their spirits are making sure we are OK.  Hang in there, cry for your loss, laugh at memories, it is our full emotions and connections, esp to our fur kids, that made all of us here the people we are today.  hugs and kisses to all of you.

Comment by Lynn Pennington on June 9, 2011 at 9:44am

Ellen,

Dogs, as dear and sweet as they are, are strange creatures.  I think they really do sense the spirits of those that have gone on from this world.  When my Dad collapsed and died on the front porch of their weekend home, my dog Bandit sat in the front yard and howled.  Later that evening after I arrived home from the hospital where they took my Dad and my Mom was admitted for observation, Bandit went into their bedroom, sniffed at Mom's side of the bed.  I told him "Grandma will be home tomorrow." Then he went and sniffed my Dad's side of the bed, SAT DOWN & would not move.  I told him Grandpa was gone and would not be home.  I KNOW he understood what I told him.  Years later when it was time for Bandit to leave this world, I told him it was ok to go ...he could go be with Grandpa...Grandpa was waiting for him.  There was a look of understanding & recognition on Bandit's face.

Some years ago when my brother passed, Niki woke me at about 2:30 AM several nights in a row growling at my back door, hackles raised (my brother's old antique car was in my backyard as I was trying to sell it).  To this day I swear it was my brother's spirit she was growling at and the hour must've been the time of his death, as we never knew the exact time of death because my brother lived alone.

Abby, Maggie and Roxy may very well sense Sadie's spirit presence.  They will adapt in time.  They will each grieve in their own way for Sadie...ours did.  They got VERY clingy for a while.  Just give them extra love and reassurance...and let them love you a little extra.

 

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